Endurence

Ok, maybe I'm a tuff old broad, well, ok, I AM, but actually, I don't think I've changed so much in the past 30 years.

Are you above grief? Do you feel like you don't "deserve" trials? Do you get "mad at God" when crap happens in your life? Mad at GOD? What the heck is that all about?????

OK, a discussion at church today was about enduring. We all need to endure. What we endure depends on what we're given. When crap happens, do you say "Why me?" Buck-up girls. Why NOT you? Why not Me? Because we pray daily for strength, peace and happy children? Because we welcome new neighbors with fresh-baked cookies? Because we have killer hand-outs for a Sunday school lesson?

I came to know in my late teens that I was given trials to prepare me for more to come. In my 20's I figured "this is the tragedy I've been groomed for." and I pulled myself up and sparkled-up the life I was in. In my 30's it was "oh, I guess that last trial helped prepare me for this one. Did I really agree to this?" Go figure. Then another tragedy. I remember J-man and I walking the halls of a hospital KNOWING that something good would come from this, that there was something to learn. DONE. Heckey-naw!! Ok, would you rather have a brick house fall on you? You never see it coming, BAM! OR, would you want see the mountain crack and the avalanche start rolling your way? We can't even chose that. What we can chose is, when crap happens, do we kneel to plead for help, comfort and understanding? OR do we get mad at God? I want to be on HIS side!!

I'll just say "thanks for knowing me, loving me, sending your Son to bear the burden; thanks for comforting me when I am able to be still enough to feel it, thanks for strong lungs that can breath in and out when day to day seems too far away; thanks for gently guiding me when I cannot know which way to go. Thanks for the trials? Hmmm, not really, but "thanks" for the ability to grow closer through the trials, and for having confidence in me, after all, I AM one of the ninety and nine.

Easter.

Is it different from other Sundays? Is the Lord present in my life every day? Do I daily have an awareness of His atonement and resurrection? Is Good Friday more sacred? Is Easter Sunday more reverenced than any other of the 51 Sabbath days in the year? I guess that is a personal decision. Maybe it is sometimes a new beginning for people who would not usually attend services for any reason, and whatever it takes to bring someone to Christ for regular gospel living? That's a good thing. There was some fuss about the Tiger's home opening game being on Good Friday? Hey, wait, don't they play ball on Sundays? Hmmm.

Each Sunday during our Sacrament, I read and re-read the words to the hymns; hymns of atonement, resurrection, forgiveness, redemption, and resurrection. "I Stand All Amazed" is my all-time favorite. I can still hear my grandma Matt singing it, and it tickles my heart. For that reason, I have read those words probably more than any other sacrament hymn. "...That He should extent His great love unto such as I, sufficient to own, to redeem and to justify" those are the words I have had ringing in my brain today. He love me. How much? "sufficiently". That's a lotta love; enough to redeem ME, enough to own ME, enough to justify ME. am more than just one of the sands of the sea, I am one of the ninety and nine.