Endurence

Ok, maybe I'm a tuff old broad, well, ok, I AM, but actually, I don't think I've changed so much in the past 30 years.

Are you above grief? Do you feel like you don't "deserve" trials? Do you get "mad at God" when crap happens in your life? Mad at GOD? What the heck is that all about?????

OK, a discussion at church today was about enduring. We all need to endure. What we endure depends on what we're given. When crap happens, do you say "Why me?" Buck-up girls. Why NOT you? Why not Me? Because we pray daily for strength, peace and happy children? Because we welcome new neighbors with fresh-baked cookies? Because we have killer hand-outs for a Sunday school lesson?

I came to know in my late teens that I was given trials to prepare me for more to come. In my 20's I figured "this is the tragedy I've been groomed for." and I pulled myself up and sparkled-up the life I was in. In my 30's it was "oh, I guess that last trial helped prepare me for this one. Did I really agree to this?" Go figure. Then another tragedy. I remember J-man and I walking the halls of a hospital KNOWING that something good would come from this, that there was something to learn. DONE. Heckey-naw!! Ok, would you rather have a brick house fall on you? You never see it coming, BAM! OR, would you want see the mountain crack and the avalanche start rolling your way? We can't even chose that. What we can chose is, when crap happens, do we kneel to plead for help, comfort and understanding? OR do we get mad at God? I want to be on HIS side!!

I'll just say "thanks for knowing me, loving me, sending your Son to bear the burden; thanks for comforting me when I am able to be still enough to feel it, thanks for strong lungs that can breath in and out when day to day seems too far away; thanks for gently guiding me when I cannot know which way to go. Thanks for the trials? Hmmm, not really, but "thanks" for the ability to grow closer through the trials, and for having confidence in me, after all, I AM one of the ninety and nine.